Among the Stars
I decided to go through some of my old poems and rewrite some of them that contain good ideas but are not written very well. Here is one of the first ones I rewrote.
Among the Stars
From the valley comes the plea,
From a soul that needs a savior,
From these eyes that cannot see,
From a heart that begs a favor,
Longing for a taste of sky,
Needing aid to ease what hurts me—
Will you see the tears I cry?
Please, I beg you—don’t desert me—
Now He gives me more than sought,
Taking me so very far;
Farther than my highest thoughts,
Placing me among the stars…
Among the Stars
From the valley comes the plea,
From a soul that needs a savior,
From these eyes that cannot see,
From a heart that begs a favor,
Longing for a taste of sky,
Needing aid to ease what hurts me—
Will you see the tears I cry?
Please, I beg you—don’t desert me—
Now He gives me more than sought,
Taking me so very far;
Farther than my highest thoughts,
Placing me among the stars…
posted by Benjamin Graber | 9:11 AM
3 Comments:
I really, really like it. I have one question, though, not about the writing itself but about what you meant, exactly. In these lines:
Needing aid to ease what hurts me—
Will you see the tears I cry?
Please, I beg you—don’t desert me—
Do you refer to God or a friend? I'm just a bit curious, because either way, I can understand the emotion behind it. I really like it a lot, but I think I already said that. =D
The plea is meant to be a cry from the valley to the Savior... I can see how it is a little vague, though.
OK, I understand now. Neat. :-)
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